So Misguided

Plain words, uncommon sense

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The Third Policeman by Flann O’Brien | Book Review

Description: On a superficial level this is a dark comedy about a weak man who commits a murder and then gets arrested, but for the wrong crime. The police are obsessively looking for bicycle thieves. On a completely other level, this is the type of novel you could expect to study in English lit classes. There’s satire, religion, allegory, and a mixed bag of logic and fantasy.

The writing style is reminiscent of Joyce or Kafka, and there’s certainly the same absurdity. One day seems to be years. One thing morphs into another. As a reader you hardly know what’s going on or what to believe.

All that to say, I found it rather enjoyable, but perhaps because it was recommended by an Irish friend.

Flann O’Brien was the pseudonym of Brain O’Nolan, an Irish Civil servant who legally wasn’t allowed to publish stories about the government or his service. His first novel was published in 1939 and this was his second, The Third Policeman.

O’Brien’s 1st work, At-Swim-Two-Birds, was lauded by the likes of Graham Greene, Samuel Beckett and James Joyce. But The Third Policeman was turned down and O’Brien withdraw the manuscript and claimed it lost. At some point it was published, and it’s really an odd tale.

Favourite Moment: The Sergeant takes the narrator to eternity, and there is a building with a lift. Our man has never been in a lift before.

My voice trailed away to a dry cluck of fright. The floor was falling so fast beneath us that it seemed once or twice to fall faster than I could fall myself so that it was sure that my feet had left it and that I had taken up a position from brief intervals half-way between the floor and the ceiling. In panic I raised my right foot and smote it down with all my weight and my strength. It struck the floor but only with a puny tinkling noise. I swore and groaned and closed my eyes and wished for a happy death.

I really can’t tell you what’s going on in this novel because it will give away the ending, but also my brain is still trying to process what I’ve read. Basically, the narrator is a landowner’s son who is orphaned, goes away to school, and then returns home to find the hired help has helped himself. Without much recourse, the narrator settles in with his house mate. By and by they run out of money and commit murder in order to steal a money box. The housemate is a sneaky devil and has our man do the dirty work and then frames him, maybe …

The narrator is fascinated with the work of De Selby, a mad scientist whose theories are highlighted in various footnotes throughout the novel. They are equally absurd. (De Selby appears in O’Brien’s later work The Dalkey Archive, where he plans to destroy the world.)

With my academic hat on, I’d say the story is a quest narrative, which is one of the oldest narrative structures in literature. Our hero leaves the familiar to go in search of something and quickly encounters the unfamiliar, usually monsters, magic, and marvels that no one will believe. He comes back a changed man.

The Third Policeman is perfect for fans of Kafka and Joyce, or more contemporary comps Monty Python and Patrick deWitt.

Book Review | Warlight by Michael Ondaatje

Michael Ondaatje’s 8th novel is absolutely spellbinding. I loved every bit of this story about a young man piecing together his family history.

Description: Fourteen-year-old Nathaniel and his sister, Rachel, are unexpectedly abandoned by their parents and left in the care of a gentle, but strange man who they call The Moth. Things are not totally on the up and up but it’s post-war London and everything is in flux.

The two kids are sent to boarding school, from which they quickly escape. The Moth organizes for them to continue school but live in the family home. While home, they are introduced to a motley crew of men and women who all have strange or mysterious careers.

A dozen years later, with fading romances and petty crime sprees, Nathaniel starts piecing it all together.

This is the story of an absent mother and the havoc it causes for her children. But it’s melancholic rather than tragic. And Ondaatje beautifully pulls back layer upon layer of emotion. It’s sentimental and sad but also invigorating.

Favourite Moment: Nathaniel starts doing night runs with the Darter on the Thames. The Darter is legally importing greyhounds.

…it was our nights on the mussel boat I loved. The boat, originally a sailing kotter, had now been equipped with a modern diesel. The Darter was borrowing it from “a respected dockland merchant,” who needed it only three days a week; unless, he warned us, a royal wedding was suddenly announced, which would mean the hurried importation of cheap crockery with a royal image fired up and shipped from some satanic mill in Le Havre. In that event the transportation of dogs would have to be postponed.

The Darter is quite an influential figure for Nathaniel. He’s a lady’s man, loves a boat, is mildly nefarious, and above all has his eye out for Nathaniel and Rachel.

Warlight is perfect for anyone who wants a satisfying read. If you liked All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr, you’ll like this too. Or if you’re a fan of post-war London novels, a fan of Ondaatje, Canadian writers, then give this a read.

Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine by Gail Honeyman | Book Review

Absolutely hilarious.

Description: Where’d You Go Bernadette meets The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime. Gail Honeyman’s debut novel is satisfyingly funny. It has the deadpan humour of Where’d You Go Bernadette coming from a woman who does not give a flip. And it has the socially awkward protagonist solving a low-level mystery, reminiscent of The Curious Incident.

I held off on reading this novel because it had so much praise when it came out and then became a Reese’s Book Club pick. But I needn’t have worried. This book lives up to the hype.

Eleanor Oliphant struggles with social skills and as a result sticks to herself. She’s awkward. Loves a routine and a crossword. Miss Oliphant does not have any friends, nor does she welcome them. Her only friend is Polly the plant. Her only visitor is a social worker. Eleanor has been a ward of the state since she was a child and there’s the edge of a mystery through the novel about what exactly created these conditions.

One day she falls in love with a musician and suddenly Eleanor is in make-over fever. Around the same time, she meets Raymond, the bumbling IT guy from the office. Despite Eleanor’s lack of social graces, Raymond finds her funny. His bighearted nature also means Eleanor now has a friend, whether she wants one or not.

Favourite Moment: All of them. Eleanor leads a fairly sheltered life and through the novel ends up having all sorts of normal encounters that she’s never had before, or that she’s never considered having. In the midst of a makeover moment, she ends up at the make-up counter getting a smokey eye. Here’s the conversation with the technician.

“Well,” she said, “what do you think?”

“I look like a small Madagascan primate, or perhaps a North American raccoon,” I said. “It’s charming!”

She laughed so much she had to cross her legs, and she shooed me down from the chair and toward the door.

“I’m supposed to try and sell you the products and brushes,” she said. “If you want any, come back tomorrow and ask for Irene!”

I nodded, waved good-bye. Whoever Irene was, there was literally more chance of me purchasing weapons-grade plutonium from her.”

Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine is the perfect read for anyone who loved The Rosie Project, Where’d You Go Bernadette, or The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime. This is a fun, quirky read about an oddball woman who works in an office and otherwise sticks to herself, and her routine of frozen pizza and lots of vodka. Until that all changes.

Millennials Are Not Aliens by Gui Costin | Book Review

Reviewed by request. And I really enjoyed it.

Gui Costin is the founder and CEO of Dakota, an investment services company, and this is his take on how to sell to millennials.

Millennials Are Not Aliens is a super fast read with lots of information for investment firms looking to better understand the millennial customer base, which makes up over 30% of the world’s population.

Let me give you another stat. Millennials are the under 40s, there are about 2.5 billion in this demographic, and they are projected to control $24 trillion of the world’s wealth by 2020. This is a tech-driven generation whose buying habits are different than GenX or Baby Boomers. These are not the kids in college, ok well some still are, but really these are the 22-37 year olds who are running companies and working in management positions now.

If you’re running an investment firm then Gui’s book is a quick look at the changes happening in this industry, the considerations you need to have for today’s buyer, and how to operate in the content economy.

Great quick read. If you’re knowledgeable about digital then this might be a pass, but if you’re running a firm and sending emails with PDF attachments and have no video strategy and a lame website with limited copy then … well get on it.

Buy the Book at guicostin.com

TD Grade One Book Giveaway Announced

To mark the end of Indigenous History Month, the Canadian Children’s Book Centre announced that this year’s selected title for the TD Grade One Book Giveaway is My Heart Fills With Happiness/sâkaskinêw nitêh miywêyihtamowin ohci by Monique Gray Smith, illustrated by Julie Flett and published by Orca Book Publishers.

This year has been declared the International Year of Indigenous Languages by the United Nations, and this special edition includes the text in Plains Cree, as well as English or French.

About the book: The sun on your face. The smell of warm bannock baking in the oven. Holding the hand of someone you love. What fills your heart with happiness? This beautiful board book, with illustrations from celebrated artist Julie Flett, serves as a reminder for little ones and adults alike to reflect on and cherish the moments in life that bring us joy.

About the program: The TD Grade One Book Giveaway program is funded by the TD Bank Group and has occurred annually since 2000. The chosen book is distributed to over 550,000 children all across Canada. For some kids, this will be the first book they own. And, this year CNIB is partnering with the organization to offer a braille version too.

Growing Room: A Feminist Literary Festival

Growing Room Festival

Mar 8-17, 2019 in Vancouver, BC

From the opening night dance party at the Fox Cabaret featuring Virago Nation and DJ Kookum, an entire day of Indigenous Brilliance on Saturday, March 9, to a reflective end-of-festival keynote with Canisa Lubrin, Growing Room promises something for everyone. #GrowingRoom2019

100+authors including:

Katherena Vermette of The Break (read it, she’s an awesome Métis writer from Winnipeg, published by House of Anansi)

Elizabeth Renzetti of Shrewed (loved it, also published by House of Anansi, caveat–they are a Boxcar Marketing client but these two women are solid solid recommendations.)

Robyn Maynard of Policing Black Lives, published by Fernwood Publishing. (if you teach, check out her BlackLivesMTLSyllabus)

Witney French of Black Writing Matters (shout out to University of Regina Press)

Heather O’Neill (will read anything she writes)

Eden Robinson of Son of a Trickster (haunting novel, I’m a fan. Trickster Drift is on my next-to-read-list.)

Alicia Elliott of A Mind Spread Out on the Ground (I haven’t discovered this author yet)

Sharon Bala of The Boat People (g’ah still haven’t read this yet, ok ordering it right now)

festival.roommagazine.com

Tickets are on sale now!

Growing Room 2019: Opening Night Party — https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/growing-room-2019-opening-night-party-tickets-55498630899?ref=ecaltw

Less by Andrew Sean Greer

Arthur Less is a 49-year-old writer moping around the world in advance of his 50th birthday. He’s a mid-level author, with one noteworthy title; a middling lover, with two noteworthy relationships (both failed); and an around-the-world itinerary that is the only enviable thing in the book.

The first chapter is introduced by an unnamed narrator who interjects throughout the book and then is revealed at the end. I thought about putting this book down many times but in the end finished it. Less won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, but I was disappointed.

The Word is Murder by Anthony Horowitz

Description: The British cosy as postmodern fiction. Author Anthony Horowitz takes on a role in his own novel. Horowitz basically plays Watson to former police detective Daniel Hawthorne. Hawthorne has a Sherlock Holmes approach to solving murders and Horowitz is along for the ride. He’s been roped into writing true crime–much to his agent’s dismay–instead of the fiction he’s known for such as Foyle’s War, Midsomer Murders, The House of Silk, and the Alex Rider series for young adults. 

The novel opens with Diana Cowper walking into a funeral parlour and arranging her own service. Later that night she is dead. If this was a play, the director would yell “cut!” The scene is wrong, the detective steps in, this is Horowitz’s first draft and Hawthorne is unimpressed. There are edits and corrections, then Horowitz catches us up on how it has come to pass that he met Hawthorne and agreed to write Hawthorne Investigates

Just as Horowitz is a real-life person, so is another character Damian Cowper, the actor from Homeland. But this Damian is fictionalized whereas many details about Horowitz are true. Don’t worry, it’s not totally confusing, but I did find myself turning to google to search for who and what was real. 

Overall this is a fun whodunit and I was left guessing until the end. 

Favourite Moment: Well my favourite moment is when Horowitz finds himself in a bit of a pickle but if I tell you anything more then I’ll spoil the mystery. 

Perfect for fans of Magpie Murders, or any of Horowitz’s previous works. If you like Agatha Christie, British mystery dramas, or AJ Finn’s The Woman in the Window, then you’ll like this. It’s a clever mystery

Read a sample or buy the book at HarperCollins Canada.

Halloween Books for Kids (That Aren’t Too Scary)

Great spooky (but not too spooky) books for pre-school and kindergarten.

Looking for great Halloween books for a 5-year-old? Here are a few favourites in our house.

 

Duck & Goose Find a Pumpkin by Tad Hills

The Duck & Goose books are perfect for 2-5 year olds. The chunky board books offer funny little stories about the two friends. In Duck & Goose Find a Pumpkin they are hunting high and low for a pumpkin, everywhere but the pumpkin patch. These are great to read at bedtime for little kids. And beginner readers will be able to sound out most of the words and can enjoy flipping the pages and understanding the story.

Pirate Pups!

Paw Patrol is unavoidable for this age. Although if you have tips on that, please share! Anyway, Pirate Pups!  is based on the Paw Patrol episode “Pups and the Pirate Treasure”. The pups and Cap’n Turbot discover a treasure map that leads them to the treasure of Captain Blackfur, a pirate pup. Cute, not scary. The story is about solving a puzzle and looking for clues. This one is harder for 5 year olds to read on their own because there’s lots of text and longer sentences. Howl for Halloween is another option. This is based on the episode where the pups are dressed up for Halloween and think Cap’n Turbot’s ship is haunted.

 

The Dark by Lemony Snicket, illustrated by Jon Klassen

If your child is afraid of the dark, I’m not entirely sure this book will reassure them. But Laszlo stops being afraid of the dark at the end of the story. We have lots of books at our house about the dark, sounds in the night, who’s there … and we read them with the lights off and a flashlight. So if you want to up the spooky then that’s a fun way to read.

Pete the Cat by James Dean

Pete the Cat (or Pat le chat) is a fun lift the flap book for Halloween. Pete is trick-or-treating and deciding what’s scary or not scary. As you can imagine, it’s all not scary in the end. There’s a certain kindergarten obsession with Pete the Chat, and no shortage of books in this series, including more with Halloween themes.

Scooby-Doo

No shortage of Scooby Doo books! For pre-K and K, we have enjoyed the Level 2 readers. These versions use longer sentences than the Level 1, which focuses on sight words and things kids can sound out. There’s more to the story in the Level 2 books. And a huge fan favourite are the Choose Your Own adventure versions. I find the story lines can be very convoluted in the You Choose, but these are great books for Halloween, full of ghost stories, monsters, and mysteries solved!

National Geographic Kids: Creepy Crawly Collection

Four books in one. Frogs, Bats, Ants, and Snakes. These are slim volumes with great vocabulary words and interesting facts for curious kids. Even though the level 2 books offer longer sentences, they structure of the sentence is not too complex so new readers have to work hard but not too hard. Also there’s a vocabulary list at the beginning of the book so if you’re teaching kids to read, then you can start with spotting and sounding out a selection of words vs reading the full text. These books litter our house, and are loved by all of us. Did you know bats are not blind? In fact, they have excellent eyesight.

Amazing Minifigure Ultimate Sticker Collection by DK

DK has a ton of these cool reusable sticker books. Each two-page spread has a scene, some text, and then kids find the matching sticker at the back of the book and complete the picture.

The stickers come on and off easily so even kids with less dexterity and play easily. The matching the image and sticker is a good skills. And there are tons of extra stickers at the back in case a sticker tears or gets lost or given to a friend.

 

Halloween books—indeed all holiday books—are popular in my house so we tend to read these books all year round.

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

Description: Neverwhere is one of NPR’s top 100 science fiction and fantasy books of all time. For good reason. It was published in 1997 and over the years various versions have been produced for tv and radio. But the edition I read is the author’s preferred text. It’s a bit meandering  but certainly makes some of the other versions feel a tad watered down.

The general story is that Richard Mayhew is a young businessman. He’s left Scotland to make his life in London. He’s happened, by chance, into a relationship with Jessica, who is a serious powerhouse and believes she can make him into the man of her dreams. Richard is a drip. En route to a very important dinner, the recently engaged couple have their plans thwarted when they come across a street girl who is badly injured. Richard insists on being a good Samaritan, which pisses off Jessica. She leaves in a huff and later calls off their wedding. This is all inconsequential to Richard who finds himself so deep in shit that a pissed off fiancee is the least of his worries. The girl Richard helps is from the London underworld. She’s undead or whatever would best describe someone who has been alive centuries. And it so happens that she’s being chased by assassins, creepy, creepy assassins. The Marquis de Carabas, Hunter, the girl Door (who is the noblewoman Lady Door), and Richard Mayhew embark on a quest to find who killed Door’s family and who is after her. There’s magic, misgivings, murderers, angels, and a whole world under London that is richer (and smellier) than Richard can even imagine. There’s even a night market held in Harrod’s, but London Below is such a different place than London Above. If Richard is noble enough, he might be able to return to his life. In the meantime, he’s going to die trying, maybe literally.

Favourite Moment: There are a ton of great moments with Richard, and the Marquis de Carabas is one of my favourite characters, but early on there is a little moment that perfectly depicts Jessica.

Jessica stood there on the sidewalk, watching him ruin her big evening, and her eyes stung with tears. After a while he was out of sight, and then, and only then, did she say, loudly and distinctly, as unladylike “Shit,” and fling her handbag as hard as she could onto the ground, hard enough to scatter her mobile phone and her lipstick and her planner and a handful of tampons across the concrete. And then, because there was nothing else to do, she picked them all up and put them back into her handbag and walked back down to the restaurant, to wait for Mr. Stockton.

Later, as she sipped her white wine, she tried to come up with plausible reasons why her fiancé was not with her, and found herself wondering desperately whether or not she could simply claim that Richard was dead.

“It was very sudden,” said Jessica, wistfully, under her breath.

Perfect for fans of … well of Neil Gaiman obviously. But otherwise, if you like radio plays, fantasy, science fiction, bizarre plot twists, Tim Burton, this is for you.

 

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