So Misguided

Plain words, uncommon sense

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The Best Post-Baby Tips

There is a lot of stuff nobody tells you about having babies.

Newborns keep you on your toes.

8-11 HealthLinkBC: The nurses that answer the lines here are so super and supportive. Call them at 8-1-1. Their scripts often end with recommending a visit to the GP or emerg, which I assume is for liability reasons. But their questions and symptom diagnosis will help you make a more informed choice about whether you can monitor the situation, try a home cure, or need to get immediate care. https://www.healthlinkbc.ca/

Ask Dr. Sears: New parents google the strangest things. But this site is the one I trusted the most. The Sears family of doctors have a calm, no-nonsense approach to everything from co-sleeping and breast feeding to eating and remedies for every ailment you can imagine. https://www.askdrsears.com/

Breast feeding: That crochet boob they gave you in prenatal class is, uh, rudimentary. If you’re in Vancouver, the BEST lactation consultant I had was Brittney Kirton. She is lovely and made me feel totally at ease. She asked what I wanted as the outcome and then helped me achieve it. Until that point I had definitely not felt in control of what was expected of my body: https://lactationlink.com/consultant/brittney-kirton/

Crying (and understanding the secret language of babies): Priscilla Dunstan helps you identify what each newborn cry is for: food, sleep, discomfort: Start around the 4:30 mark https://youtu.be/PgkZf6jVdVg

Crying (and calming) babies: Your go-to guide here is Dr. Harvey Karp. His book The Happiest Baby on the Block is a cult classic, and there are lots of tips on his site too. https://www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/baby/the-5-s-s-for-soothing-babies

Sick mom cold remedies: Remember if you are breast feeding to pay attention to any medications. KellyMom.com is another great parenting resource. http://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/meds/cold-remedy/

Sign language for babies: If you’re in Vancouver, Lee Ann Steyns is so charming. Her classes teach you how to sign to your baby. She shares stories and teaches you little songs that you can play with babe. Her classes are for 0-18 months and really fun and relaxing. https://www.signingbabies.ca/

Sleep: Normally I would say to avoid BabyCenter at all costs, at least avoid the forums which are filled with unnecessary panic and un-cited advice. But the sleep schedules were handy. http://www.babycenter.com/0_sample-baby-schedules-for-1-and-2-month-olds_3657227.bc

Last, always ask. Sometimes you feel like it’s a silly question. But as a new parent, there’s never a silly question. Think about it as ruling things out.

Plus, know that every few weeks things are going to change. You’re not going crazy. And it gets better.

Week 0-3 is rough but you are on an adrenaline high so even though there’s not great sleep, you’ll make it through. Make any visitors bring food. Tell them it’s a requirement for visiting. Leave some nice soap by the sink so you can point it out to them, “I left some nice soap there so visitors can wash their hands.” Nobody will feel like you’re being bossy, they will think, oh crap yes of course I should wash my hands.

Week 4-6 you go with the flow. There might be more crying and growth spurts and week 6 is usually peak crying. Breast feeding gets more familiar for you and babe. Look for some one-hand snacks or do some baby wearing. “Look Mom, hands free!” You’ll make it though. And, uh, if you’re experiencing pelvic floor pressure or incontinence, then you might have a prolapse. Get checked for prolapse or diastasis so you can tend to your poor innards.

Week 7-9 ergonomics should be top of mind. Whatever the feeding and sleeping routine is, make it ergo friendly so you don’t end up crippled up. C-section and vback: things should be going back to normal-ish, but make sure to ask about any concerns, no matter how small they seem.

Week 10-12 you are in the home stretch. That 3-month marker is a big one. You’ll likely have a bit of a routine now, hooray. If you’re tracking when you’re feeding babe, then you’ll find those times to get out of the house are getting easier. Have 2 diaper bags, one that is always packed and ready at the door. Faffing about will derail you. Go! Get that coffee or walk outside.

Months 6, 9, & 12 are other milestones. Each one is a marked improvement. Life gets easier.

Happy Birthday Robert John Sherrett

Bob Sherrett was born today in 1923. He died July 1, 2012 and I miss him dearly.

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Bob joined the Royal Canadian Air Force on his 18th birthday, graduated as a Sergeant Air Gunner and proceeded overseas in early 1942. He was stationed in Linconshire with 57 Squadron, 15 Bomber Group, flying in the rear turret of Manchester and Lancaster aircraft. Bob returned to Canada in 1943 and, while stationed in Toronto, met the girl he would marry after the war, Joan Wetton. In April 1944 Bob volunteered for a second tour of duty. He flew back to England where he served in an all-Canadian crew, as Gunnery Leader on 431 Canadian Squadron, 6 Bomber Group, with the rank of Flight Lieutenant. Bob survived being shot down in the English Channel in November, 1942, and again, a year later, he was the only member of his air crew to survive after their aircraft was badly damaged on the Peenemünde Raid. Bob was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross, bar to the Operational Wings, and was mentioned in Dispatches.

I recently discovered this BBC Radio 4 program that tells the story of Wynford Vaughan-Thomas’ report recorded aboard a Lancaster Bomber during a raid on Berlin.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b039lmkg

Here’s the set up:

In 1943 the RAF contacted the BBC with a dramatic offer: they were willing to send a two-man radio crew on a bombing raid over Berlin. The BBC chose Wynford Vaughan-Thomas for the mission. He accepted, knowing he might never return.

So on the night of 3rd September 1943, Vaughan-Thomas recorded for the BBC live from a Lancaster Bomber during a bombing raid over Berlin.

Those hours aboard the plane clearly remained a defining time in his life. Forty years later, he called it “the most terrifying eight hours of my life. Berlin burning was like watching somebody throwing jewellery on black velvet – winking rubies, sparkling diamonds all coming up at you.”

Here’s the link again, it’s about 1 hour:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b039lmkg

I’m sorry there was ever a reason for Bob (or anyone else) to be bombing people, and I’m glad he returned from that experience. My life is richer having heard his stories. Happy Birthday Bob.

Rachael Ashe: Making By Hand

My friend Rachael Ashe presented at Creative Mornings a month ago on making things by hand and I found her presentation really inspiring. A few of the things that stood out for me:

1. iPhone photography has taken away the hands-on, tactile aspect of shooting images. We don’t have film, slides to advance, prints to handle. So maybe we should think about all the other ways that touch screens and digital tools have made us too “hands free”.

2. Build time in your schedule to make. Think about yourself as a maker. DO Things. Especially if it’s just for play.

3. Play and practice is how you refine your skills, and that can lead to paid work (if you’re interested in that sort of thing).

4. Say YES, I don’t know exactly how to do that but I’ll give it a go.

5. The first time you do anything, it will probably suck. Hooray!

Also, I like Rachael’s quiet sense of humour and little jokes in her presentation. I’m proud of my friend. I’m pleased that she overcame the nerve-wracking experience of speaking in front of an audience, and that she did a bang up job at preparing, practicing and presenting.

Ease into your chair. The talk is 30 min then there’s 15 min of Q&A. Rachael hits her stride around the 8 min mark, but don’t skip ahead, just relax, get inspired, and then go make.

This is my favourite presentation this year. Last year it was Tori Holmes talking about being the youngest woman to row across the Atlantic Ocean. I still think about that presentation and how to turn the impossible into the possible. A theme that carries through in Rachael’s talk.

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Shop for Rachael Ashe’s work on Etsy.

Follow her on Facebook, where you can also sign up for her newsletter.

Book Review: Perfect by Rachel Joyce

Well, Perfect by Rachel Joyce is a perfectly sad little book. Perhaps sad isn’t the best word, morosely melancholic?

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Perfect opens in June 1972 with 11-year-old Byron worried about the addition of 2 seconds. Apparently the 2 seconds will be added to bring clocks back into line with the movement of the Earth. His best friend James has read about it in the paper and Byron can’t stop worrying about when those seconds will be added. “It’s the difference between something happening and something not happening.” Indeed!

What does happen is that Byron stabs his wristwatch in front of his mother Diana while she’s driving and she hits a little girl. Diana doesn’t realize she’s had an accident until Byron’s anxiety about it spills out a month later. What transpires over the next 4 months is the undoing of this little family.

Byron and James plot a way to save Diana from persecution but instead drive her into the hands of the seemingly distraught (yet totally conniving) mother of the little girl.

I missed reading Rachel Joyce’s first novel The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry so I’ll have to it pick up.

Perfect is quirky, well written and, I suspect, just as great a book club selection as Harold Fry. If you like The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time you’ll also like this title.

My Reading List for 2014

Mark Medley @itsmarkmedley has compiled the 25 most anticipated Canadian books of 2014 along with the best reads of 2013. Of course I want to read all of them, but there are a few on that list that immediately stand out. Also, I’m looking forward to what 49thShelf.com calls out as the top reads since they often has a handle on the smaller presses as well.

1. Frog Music, by Emma Donoghue (HarperCollins Canada/April) I didn’t read Room but this topic is intriguing: 3 former circus performers in 19th-century San Francisco.

2. The Confabulist, by Steven Galloway (Knopf Canada/April) I have loved all of Galloway’s novels, in particular Finnie Walsh and The Cellist of Sarajevo. This novel is about the life and death of the legendary magician Harry Houdini.

3. The Girl Who Was Saturday Night, by Heather O’Neill (HarperCollins Canada/May) I enjoyed O’Neill’s Canada Reads-winning debut Lullabies for Little Criminals. It was dark. Not sure if this one is as dark but it’s about the twin children of a famous Quebecois folksinger.

4. Walt, by Russell Wangersky (House of Anansi Press/September) Anansi always publishes very clever, quirky fiction and I’m really looking forward to this one about a grocery store cleaner who believes the police are trying to frame him for his wife’s disappearance. And as Medley says, “Oh, I forgot to mention his peculiar quirk: He collects discarded shopping lists people leave around the store.” Love it.

5. The Doomsday Man, by Ian Weir (Goose Lane Editions/September) Weir’s debut, Daniel O’Thunder was a pretty fun read. I’ve been participating with Ian in the Vancouver Sun Book Club and having heard about the novel first hand, I can’t wait to read his exploration of early surgeons and amputations. Seriously.

6. Into the Blizzard, by Michael Winter (Doubleday Canada/November) Winter is a crazy guy and I enjoyed The Big Why and All This Happened. I haven’t read Minister Without Portfolio so I’ll have to add that to my list as well. This book explores the history of the Royal Newfoundland Regiment.

More to come once I see what 49thShelf is touting!

Advent — The Chemistry of Cookies

And then there’s The Food Lab: The Science of the Best Chocolate Chip Cookies
http://sweets.seriouseats.com/2013/12/the-food-lab-the-best-chocolate-chip-cookies.html

The long and shortening of it:

Butter: keeps cookies tender because it inhibits the formation of gluten (flour + water from the eggs). The more butter, the more tender the cookie, and the more it spreads as it bakes.
Ideal ratio: 1 part butter to 1 part sugar to .8 part flour
Don’t go for shortening
Melted butter = denser cookies, whereas creamed butter = cakier cookies

Eggs: “By keeping the total mass of egg added to a dough the same but altering the proportion of white to yolk, you can achieve a variety of textures. Two whites and a yolk, for instance, produces the more open structure of the top cookie in the photo above, while three yolks and no whites produces the denser, fudgier texture of the cookie on the bottom.”
Extra egg whites = taller cookies; extra egg yolks = fudgier cookies
Ideal ratio: 1 yolk to 1 white (oh, they way eggs come naturally)

Sugar: Blend only the white sugar with the eggs to give a jump start on caramelization then add brown sugar later with the melted butter.

Chocolate: Hand-chopped chocolate = most intense flavour and interesting texture.

“Here’s what we’re working with so far: White sugar is beaten into whole eggs until it dissolves. Butter is browned and chilled with an ice cube to add back lost moisture and hasten its cooling, before being beaten into the egg mixture, along with brown sugar and. Flour and baking soda are folded in very gently, along with chocolate.”

Salt & Vanilla: Salt is essential to balance the flavour of caramelized sugars, and a good amount of vanilla is a must. Press coarse salt to the cookie tops when they first come out of the oven.

Cooler oven = wide cookies, hotter oven = compact cookies That said, caramelization occurs at 356 degrees so if your recipe calls for the oven to be set at 350 degrees, you’re out of luck. Crank up the heat.

Let the dough rest overnight for superior flavour

3 Canadian Libraries Are Among the Best in the World

A report published in this month’s edition of Libri: International Journal of Libraries and Information Services ties Vancouver and Montreal for the top spot, while Chicago, San Francisco, Shanghai, and Toronto rounded out the top five.

http://www.vancitybuzz.com/2013/12/vancouver-public-library-number-one-library-world/

Advent — Leaving the Sea

Leaving the Sea: Stories

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Love this cover. Reminds me of The Flame Alphabet, which is his previous book. I loved the writing but couldn’t get into the story (too dark for me as a new sleep-deprived mom, it was about children’s voices killing their parents) so I’m looking forward to reading these short stories instead.

Considered one of the most innovative and vital writers of his generation, Ben Marcus’s new collection showcases 15 tales of modern anxieties and peculiarities.

Ben Marcus is the author of three books of fiction: The Age of Wire and String, Notable American Women, and The Flame Alphabet, and he is the editor of The Anchor Book of New American Short Stories. His stories have appeared in Harper’s, The New Yorker, Granta, Electric Literature, The Paris Review, McSweeney’s, Tin House, and Conjunctions. He has received the Berlin Prize, a Guggenheim Fellowship, a Whiting Writers’ Award, a National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship in fiction, three Pushcart Prizes, and the Morton Dauwen Zabel Award from the American Academy of Arts and Letters.

Advent — Top 100 Books

Critics Lev Grossman and Richard Lacayo pick the 100 best English-language novels published since 1923‚ the beginning of TIME. And, I’d read whatever Lev tells me to read. I’ve bolded the ones I have read below. I guess this is my new “to-read” list.

See the full article for links and info on how the list was created.
All-TIME 100 Novels

A – B

The Adventures of Augie March
All the King’s Men
American Pastoral
An American Tragedy
Animal Farm
Appointment in Samarra
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret
The Assistant
At Swim-Two-Birds
Atonement
Beloved

The Berlin Stories
The Big Sleep
The Blind Assassin

Blood Meridian
Brideshead Revisited
The Bridge of San Luis Rey

C – D

Call It Sleep
Catch-22
The Catcher in the Rye
A Clockwork Orange

The Confessions of Nat Turner
The Corrections
The Crying of Lot 49
A Dance to the Music of Time
The Day of the Locust
Death Comes for the Archbishop
A Death in the Family
The Death of the Heart
Deliverance
Dog Soldiers

F – G

Falconer
The French Lieutenant’s Woman
The Golden Notebook

Go Tell it on the Mountain
Gone With the Wind
The Grapes of Wrath

Gravity’s Rainbow
The Great Gatsby

H – I

A Handful of Dust
The Heart is A Lonely Hunter
The Heart of the Matter
Herzog
Housekeeping
A House for Mr. Biswas
I, Claudius
Infinite Jest
Invisible Man

L – N

Light in August
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe
Lolita
Lord of the Flies
The Lord of the Rings
Loving

The Moviegoer
Lucky Jim
The Man Who Loved Children
Midnight’s Children
Money
Mrs. Dalloway

Naked Lunch
Native Son
Neuromancer
Never Let Me Go
1984

O – R

On the Road
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

The Painted Bird
Pale Fire
A Passage to India
Play It As It Lays
Portnoy’s Complaint
Possession
The Power and the Glory
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
Rabbit, Run
Ragtime
The Recognitions
Red Harvest
Revolutionary Road

S – T

The Sheltering Sky
Slaughterhouse Five
Snow Crash
The Sot-Weed Factor
The Sound and the Fury
The Sportswriter
The Spy Who Came in From the Cold
The Sun Also Rises

Their Eyes Were Watching God
Things Fall Apart
To Kill a Mockingbird
To the Lighthouse
Tropic of Cancer

U – W

Ubik
Under the Net
Under the Volcano
Watchmen
White Noise
White Teeth
Wide Sargasso Sea

There are a couple of letters there that need attention.

Read more: TIME.com http://entertainment.time.com/2005/10/16/all-time-100-novels/slide/all/#ixzz2nsdhtOyf

Advent — Bookshelf Porn

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Why are book lovers obsessed with bookshelves? Maybe because our imaginations are so vivid that we just like to look at books and spaces for reading those books and are magically transported to other worlds upon viewing interesting shelves. Maybe. Just maybe.
http://bookshelfporn.com/tagged/favorites/

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