So Misguided

Plain words, uncommon sense

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The Ticking Heart by Andrew Kaufman | Book Review

Description: This is magic realism Canadian style. Gabriel Garcia Marquez meets Raymond Chandler, in Toronto. What do I mean? The Ticking Heart is a story about the inevitable and the inescapable. For the protagonist Charlie, the inevitable and inescapable truth is that his marriage is over and he needs to get on with it. To force his hand (or rather his heart), the universe intervenes by “poof” and Charlie finds himself in Metamorphia, a place where nothing is as it seems. Charlie is a private detective, summoned by an ex-girlfriend, to resolve the unpleasant matter of where her beloved has hidden his heart. There’s a cyclops, a man with twigs for arms, and a jail that you put yourself into voluntarily. I can’t explain the crazy, but this is a fun read.

Poof is how people get in and out of Metamorphia. For Charlie, the clock is ticking. His kids have karate, and the ex-girlfriend has replace his heart with a ticking bomb. Falling in and out of love is tricky business!

Who is it for? Fans of film noir, scifi, and magic realism. If you’re a fan of Kaufman and his previous works then no doubt you have already read this one. It’s quirky, cute and at its heart a fable about what it means to love.

Favourite moment: Chapter 16: Return of the Cyclops

“It was raining sheet music when Charlie came out of the Library of Blank Pages. Crisp white scores, lined with staffs and dotted with notes, fell through the air. Each page struck a note as it hit the ground, producing random plunks, a Cage-like cat pacing the length of a piano. Charlie didn’t try to figure out what it mean. He allowed himself to become engrossed in the beauty of it. That is why he didn’t notice how quickly the Cyclops was approaching him.”

The Ticking Heart by Andrew Kaufman

Pumpkin spice and everything nice with The Ticking Heart

I’ve been a fan of Andrew Kaufman’s since I first read his first book All My Friends Are Superheros. I discovered the title on my friend’s shelf, borrowed it and went down to the Beaches in Toronto. This was a 1-sitting kind of book.

Coach House Books has a 10th anniversary edition out, which is lovely, but come on … look at that original cover!

My other favourite Andrew Kaufman book was The Tiny Wife. I have the little purple edition below. Again there’s newer editions with different covers but hey, you show up early and get the early edition right!

In The Tiny Wife, a bank robber demands everyone give up the object of greatest significance to them. One survivor’s tattoo jumps off her ankle and chases her around. That’s nothing. Poor Stacey Hinterland soon discovers that she’s shrinking and nothing can keep her from losing herself.

The Waterproof Bible was hilarious. But now I’m gushing and I wasn’t intending to talk about every book — there’s more! Anyway, Andrew Kaufman’s writing is quirky and funny. It’s is right up my alley. There’s always some twist of magic realism and wild imagination. And it’s the same with his newest book The Ticking Heart.

Two hours and seventeen minutes into his forty-third year, Charlie Waterfield realized he was lost. He was standing at the corner of Euclid and Barton in downtown Toronto. He could have walked home if he’d wanted to. He probably should have. What prevented him from doing so was the painful realization that he was lost inside the one thing it is impossible to escape: his own life.

opening paragraph, The Ticking Heart by Andrew Kaufman

Intrigued? If you’re in Vancouver there is still time to check out some of Andrew Kaufman’s events at the Vancouver Writers Festival this weekend.
? Love & Obsession is Sat, Oct 26, 5-6:30 pm
? The Sunday Brunch is Sun, Oct 27, 11-12:30 pm

Always a laugh! Andrew Kaufman, author of The Ticking Heart (buy it from Coach House Books)

Mr. Fox by Helen Oyeyemi

Mr Fox by Helen Oyeyemi book cover
100 Notable Books | New York Times Book Review

Description: This novel reads like a series of short stories linked together. Each are fairy-tale romances with strange heroines and a bit of magic. The general premise is that celebrated Mr. Fox can’t stop thinking about his muse, so much so that she actually comes to life, much to the chagrin of his wife Daphne. The characters in the stories often are named Mr. Fox, Mary Foxe, and Daphne, but they are never the same people in the same story.

Who is it for? If you liked The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, this has some of the mystery and magic, and the nonlinear narrative. I found it odd in a lovely way.

Favourite moment: When Daphne thinks Mr. Fox is cheating on her but then comes face to face with Mary. Daphne knows Mary is not real but still takes her out to dinner.

Fleishman Is in Trouble by Taffy Brodesser-Akner | Book Review

Buy the Book

Description: The book blurbs reference Philip Roth and John Updike but to me this is Bonfire of the Vanities meets The Great Gatsby. Regardless, it’s a remarkable debut novel by Taffy Brodesser-Akner and has the feel of an amazing personal account with embellishment.

Toby Fleishman is a well-respected New York doctor earning $285K. But his wife Rachel is the true breadwinner and the more ambitious partner. She wants (and has) the house in the Hampton’s, she runs a successful talent agency, she works out at the right yoga gyms with the right people, but it’s never enough. She’s driven to achieve more and more. She puts her career above her family and Toby is the working dad who leaves on time to pick up the kids, who makes the dinners, and is on hand for homework and parental duties like fundraisers and parent conferences.

The Fleishman’s are a modern-day family and Rachel battles sexism in her job, friend circle, and family. She’s the absentee parent who loves her children but feels wrecked by them. The Fleishman’s whole world really goes topsy turvy though when Rachel disappears. She drops the kids off unexpectedly with Toby then vanishes. She’s 3 weeks late picking up the kids, and by her standards that’s late.

Brodesser-Akner structures this novel in a fascinating way where we have Toby’s point of view for 3/4 of the novel and Rachel’s at the end. The tale is narrated by Elizabeth, a mutual friend (well mostly Toby’s friend from university), and through her perspective we see a big unraveling of the structure of marriage, the competitive nature of New Yorkers, and feminism and in the workplace.

Perfect read for fans of Tom Wolfe, JD Salinger, or Edith Wharton. I love the writing. This is a classic like Bonfire of the Vanities (Tom Wolfe) or The Great Gatsby in its shrewd observations of this moment in time. From afar, it looks like a perfect portrait of New York society and a careful re-construction of the pain and endless questions prompted by divorce. Brodesser-Akner dutifully probes the behaviour and psychology of upper-class New Yorkers in the style of long-form magazine prose.

A Terrible Country by Keith Gessen | Book Review

Description: Andrei Kaplan leaves his lacklustre academic pursuits in New York to care for his ailing grandmother in Moscow. It’s not at all what he expects.

Andrei emigrated from Russia to the US when he was 6. His brother Dina was 16 and didn’t really embrace the States so left to make his fortune back home. Dima, now a well-placed businessman in Moscow, has been caring for Seva Efraimovna for several years. But certain political winds have changed and he’s laying low in London, hoping his business failings that have left him exposed to prosecution in Russia will blow over.

The novel is set around the financial crisis in 2008, which unfolds shortly after Andrei arrives to aid his grandma. Seva is in failing health and has dementia. As her health fails, so does the Russian economy.

Initially Andrei is scared and unsure about his life in Russia. Things have changed. There’s still the decrepit buildings and police presence, but there’s also exciting activism, along with flashy cars and mob behaviour. He’s at a loss as to how to support his grandma, he has no money, no friends and no Dima, except occasionally over Gchat. Then things start to change as he settles in.

A Terrible Country is a melancholic novel that gives Western readers a perspective of young Russians and one expat’s view of Putin. At its heart, this is a love story to Russia, with vodka, the FSB (formerly KGB), cheap snacks, over priced housewares, and the Russian leisure hockey leagues. 

The back jacket ends with ‘A Terrible Country asks what you owe the place you were born, and what it owes you.’

Favourite moment: Andrei is an academic, and not a very good one. He’s also a terrible cook and has no DIY skills. There’s a sink clogged and the plumber has left him to it with the sink snake. 

And then suddenly it felt like my clog had fallen into space and my snake was free. I turned the handle a few more times but it was unnecessary. The clog was gone! I just knew it. Motherfucking clog!

The setup and end of this scene is hilarious, and I was left cheering for Andrei. Maybe things would work out.

Perfect read for anyone who likes a modern-day Chekhov, David Lodge (The British Museum Is Falling Down), or John Boyne (The Boy in the Stripped Pyjamas). This is a story about loss, family, friendships, finding ones’ place, and being displaced. 

The Third Policeman by Flann O’Brien | Book Review

Description: On a superficial level this is a dark comedy about a weak man who commits a murder and then gets arrested, but for the wrong crime. The police are obsessively looking for bicycle thieves. On a completely other level, this is the type of novel you could expect to study in English lit classes. There’s satire, religion, allegory, and a mixed bag of logic and fantasy.

The writing style is reminiscent of Joyce or Kafka, and there’s certainly the same absurdity. One day seems to be years. One thing morphs into another. As a reader you hardly know what’s going on or what to believe.

All that to say, I found it rather enjoyable, but perhaps because it was recommended by an Irish friend.

Flann O’Brien was the pseudonym of Brain O’Nolan, an Irish Civil servant who legally wasn’t allowed to publish stories about the government or his service. His first novel was published in 1939 and this was his second, The Third Policeman.

O’Brien’s 1st work, At-Swim-Two-Birds, was lauded by the likes of Graham Greene, Samuel Beckett and James Joyce. But The Third Policeman was turned down and O’Brien withdraw the manuscript and claimed it lost. At some point it was published, and it’s really an odd tale.

Favourite Moment: The Sergeant takes the narrator to eternity, and there is a building with a lift. Our man has never been in a lift before.

My voice trailed away to a dry cluck of fright. The floor was falling so fast beneath us that it seemed once or twice to fall faster than I could fall myself so that it was sure that my feet had left it and that I had taken up a position from brief intervals half-way between the floor and the ceiling. In panic I raised my right foot and smote it down with all my weight and my strength. It struck the floor but only with a puny tinkling noise. I swore and groaned and closed my eyes and wished for a happy death.

I really can’t tell you what’s going on in this novel because it will give away the ending, but also my brain is still trying to process what I’ve read. Basically, the narrator is a landowner’s son who is orphaned, goes away to school, and then returns home to find the hired help has helped himself. Without much recourse, the narrator settles in with his house mate. By and by they run out of money and commit murder in order to steal a money box. The housemate is a sneaky devil and has our man do the dirty work and then frames him, maybe …

The narrator is fascinated with the work of De Selby, a mad scientist whose theories are highlighted in various footnotes throughout the novel. They are equally absurd. (De Selby appears in O’Brien’s later work The Dalkey Archive, where he plans to destroy the world.)

With my academic hat on, I’d say the story is a quest narrative, which is one of the oldest narrative structures in literature. Our hero leaves the familiar to go in search of something and quickly encounters the unfamiliar, usually monsters, magic, and marvels that no one will believe. He comes back a changed man.

The Third Policeman is perfect for fans of Kafka and Joyce, or more contemporary comps Monty Python and Patrick deWitt.

Book Review | Warlight by Michael Ondaatje

Michael Ondaatje’s 8th novel is absolutely spellbinding. I loved every bit of this story about a young man piecing together his family history.

Description: Fourteen-year-old Nathaniel and his sister, Rachel, are unexpectedly abandoned by their parents and left in the care of a gentle, but strange man who they call The Moth. Things are not totally on the up and up but it’s post-war London and everything is in flux.

The two kids are sent to boarding school, from which they quickly escape. The Moth organizes for them to continue school but live in the family home. While home, they are introduced to a motley crew of men and women who all have strange or mysterious careers.

A dozen years later, with fading romances and petty crime sprees, Nathaniel starts piecing it all together.

This is the story of an absent mother and the havoc it causes for her children. But it’s melancholic rather than tragic. And Ondaatje beautifully pulls back layer upon layer of emotion. It’s sentimental and sad but also invigorating.

Favourite Moment: Nathaniel starts doing night runs with the Darter on the Thames. The Darter is legally importing greyhounds.

…it was our nights on the mussel boat I loved. The boat, originally a sailing kotter, had now been equipped with a modern diesel. The Darter was borrowing it from “a respected dockland merchant,” who needed it only three days a week; unless, he warned us, a royal wedding was suddenly announced, which would mean the hurried importation of cheap crockery with a royal image fired up and shipped from some satanic mill in Le Havre. In that event the transportation of dogs would have to be postponed.

The Darter is quite an influential figure for Nathaniel. He’s a lady’s man, loves a boat, is mildly nefarious, and above all has his eye out for Nathaniel and Rachel.

Warlight is perfect for anyone who wants a satisfying read. If you liked All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr, you’ll like this too. Or if you’re a fan of post-war London novels, a fan of Ondaatje, Canadian writers, then give this a read.

Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine by Gail Honeyman | Book Review

Absolutely hilarious.

Description: Where’d You Go Bernadette meets The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime. Gail Honeyman’s debut novel is satisfyingly funny. It has the deadpan humour of Where’d You Go Bernadette coming from a woman who does not give a flip. And it has the socially awkward protagonist solving a low-level mystery, reminiscent of The Curious Incident.

I held off on reading this novel because it had so much praise when it came out and then became a Reese’s Book Club pick. But I needn’t have worried. This book lives up to the hype.

Eleanor Oliphant struggles with social skills and as a result sticks to herself. She’s awkward. Loves a routine and a crossword. Miss Oliphant does not have any friends, nor does she welcome them. Her only friend is Polly the plant. Her only visitor is a social worker. Eleanor has been a ward of the state since she was a child and there’s the edge of a mystery through the novel about what exactly created these conditions.

One day she falls in love with a musician and suddenly Eleanor is in make-over fever. Around the same time, she meets Raymond, the bumbling IT guy from the office. Despite Eleanor’s lack of social graces, Raymond finds her funny. His bighearted nature also means Eleanor now has a friend, whether she wants one or not.

Favourite Moment: All of them. Eleanor leads a fairly sheltered life and through the novel ends up having all sorts of normal encounters that she’s never had before, or that she’s never considered having. In the midst of a makeover moment, she ends up at the make-up counter getting a smokey eye. Here’s the conversation with the technician.

“Well,” she said, “what do you think?”

“I look like a small Madagascan primate, or perhaps a North American raccoon,” I said. “It’s charming!”

She laughed so much she had to cross her legs, and she shooed me down from the chair and toward the door.

“I’m supposed to try and sell you the products and brushes,” she said. “If you want any, come back tomorrow and ask for Irene!”

I nodded, waved good-bye. Whoever Irene was, there was literally more chance of me purchasing weapons-grade plutonium from her.”

Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine is the perfect read for anyone who loved The Rosie Project, Where’d You Go Bernadette, or The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime. This is a fun, quirky read about an oddball woman who works in an office and otherwise sticks to herself, and her routine of frozen pizza and lots of vodka. Until that all changes.

Millennials Are Not Aliens by Gui Costin | Book Review

Reviewed by request. And I really enjoyed it.

Gui Costin is the founder and CEO of Dakota, an investment services company, and this is his take on how to sell to millennials.

Millennials Are Not Aliens is a super fast read with lots of information for investment firms looking to better understand the millennial customer base, which makes up over 30% of the world’s population.

Let me give you another stat. Millennials are the under 40s, there are about 2.5 billion in this demographic, and they are projected to control $24 trillion of the world’s wealth by 2020. This is a tech-driven generation whose buying habits are different than GenX or Baby Boomers. These are not the kids in college, ok well some still are, but really these are the 22-37 year olds who are running companies and working in management positions now.

If you’re running an investment firm then Gui’s book is a quick look at the changes happening in this industry, the considerations you need to have for today’s buyer, and how to operate in the content economy.

Great quick read. If you’re knowledgeable about digital then this might be a pass, but if you’re running a firm and sending emails with PDF attachments and have no video strategy and a lame website with limited copy then … well get on it.

Buy the Book at guicostin.com

TD Grade One Book Giveaway Announced

To mark the end of Indigenous History Month, the Canadian Children’s Book Centre announced that this year’s selected title for the TD Grade One Book Giveaway is My Heart Fills With Happiness/sâkaskinêw nitêh miywêyihtamowin ohci by Monique Gray Smith, illustrated by Julie Flett and published by Orca Book Publishers.

This year has been declared the International Year of Indigenous Languages by the United Nations, and this special edition includes the text in Plains Cree, as well as English or French.

About the book: The sun on your face. The smell of warm bannock baking in the oven. Holding the hand of someone you love. What fills your heart with happiness? This beautiful board book, with illustrations from celebrated artist Julie Flett, serves as a reminder for little ones and adults alike to reflect on and cherish the moments in life that bring us joy.

About the program: The TD Grade One Book Giveaway program is funded by the TD Bank Group and has occurred annually since 2000. The chosen book is distributed to over 550,000 children all across Canada. For some kids, this will be the first book they own. And, this year CNIB is partnering with the organization to offer a braille version too.

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