The World by Bill Gaston is this month’s Vancouver Sun Book Club read and I’ve been enjoying re-discovering Gaston. I was first introduced to his work when I was at Raincoast and I’ve followed his career but haven’t really dipped into his books. Too bad I waited!
The World is both the title of this novel and the title of a novel in the book, written by Hal, one of the main characters. Hal has Alzheimer’s and is in a home and we don’t really get to his story until the final third of the book, but he is introduced early. The book begins with the sad life of Stuart Price who is a high-school shops teacher, recently retired. Stuart is split from his wife and has poured his energies into paying off his mortgage. Indeed he has just paid it off in a lump sum and, in burning the mortgage papers on his deck, burns the place down. Oh Stuart. To add insult to injury, he has forgotten to pay his insurance premium.
Stuart’s meltdown, or rather burndown, takes him on the road. Whether he’s running away or running to somewhere is questionable. He’s swiftly decided to drive his ancient Datsun from BC to Ontario in order to visit his long-lost friend Mel who is dying of cancer. It happens that his insurance company HQ is in Toronto and he wants to plead his case in person.
Stuart is hilarious, and a bit insane, so his third of the novel is pretty funny. The middle section begins with Mel bailing Stuart out of jail and continues from her perspective. It’s a bit dire in comparison to Stuart’s tragedy, but really it’s just another personal crisis from a different perspective. With Mel, we also finally meet Hal, author of The World which is about a leper colony on D’Arcy Island. Hal is quite the character and he and Stuart together are certainly a pair of looney tunes.
We’re going to be discussing Bill Gaston’s The World for the next couple of weeks in The Vancouver Sun so I’ll save my thoughts for that.
This article isn’t particularly long but, in the days of 140 character tweets and status updates, it exceeds the character count of my usual single-item readings. I asked James to read it aloud to me this morning while I was eating my breakfast and several times I made him re-read lines that I thought were hilarious or wanted to solidify in my brain. This gem is James’ find and a nice little reading experience that he shared with me in the half-hour block of time this morning between our son’s nap and next feeding. It’s worth a read.
The Referendum By TIM KREIDER in the New York Times from September 17, 2009
Tim Kreider introduces this as an essay about arrested adolescence but it’s really about looking around and wondering if you’re living the life you want to be leading and how we look at our friends’ lives and either feel jealousy or pity.
Quote: The Referendum is a phenomenon typical of (but not limited to) midlife, whereby people, increasingly aware of the finiteness of their time in the world, the limitations placed on them by their choices so far, and the narrowing options remaining to them, start judging their peers’ differing choices with reactions ranging from envy to contempt.
As a new parent, I’m constantly looking at my childless peers and thinking, “8 weeks ago, that was my life too.” Or I’m looking at strangers in the street who are carting around little ones and thinking, “bloody hell, those liars told me things get better” or “that woman has it together, I want to be like her when my child grows up.”
Reading Kreider’s article “The Referendum” coincidentally coincides with me filling out my son’s baby book with family members’ birthdays, which leads me to think about how young some of them died. Mid-50s seems to have claimed a number of loved ones on both sides of our family and at 37 years old that doesn’t seem all that far away.
On a brighter, yet caustic note, here are some of my favourite lines (extracted especially for my friends who are parents and only have 140 more seconds of attention):
Quote: To my friends with children, the obscene wealth of free time at my command must seem unimaginably exotic, since their next thousand Saturdays are already booked.
…
A lot of my married friends take a vicarious interest in my personal life. It’s usually just nosy, prurient fun, but sometimes smacks of the sort of moralism that H.G. Wells called “jealousy with a halo.”
…
Like everyone, I’ve seen some marriages in which I would discreetly hang myself within 12 hours, but others have given me cause to envy their intimacy, loyalty, and irreplaceable decades of invested history. [Note to all my married friends: your marriage is one of the latter.]
…
I have never even idly thought for a single passing second that it might make my life nicer to have a small, rude, incontinent person follow me around screaming and making me buy them stuff for the rest of my life. [Note to friends with children: I am referring to other people’s children, not to yours.]
The Emperor of Paris by CS Richardson is a series of short, interconnected love stories set before and after World War I in Paris. The most prominent storyline is of Emile Notre-Dame, thinnest baker in Paris and his wife Immacolata, who have a son Octavio. Both father and son cannot read but are amazing storytellers and Boulangerie Notre-Dame becomes rather infamous among its regular patrons who come for the buttery croissants and baguettes but also for the stories.
Quote: The bakery occupied the ground floor of a narrow flatiron building known throughout the neighbourhood as the cake-slice. As far back as anyone could remember the letters above its windows, in their carved wooden flourishes, had spelled out:
BOULA GERIE NOTRE-DAME
the N having long since vanished.
The story of the N’s disappearance is a regular request from the bakery’s patrons, the most fantastical version being about thieves who spread across France stealing Ns and the most favourite being that of Napolean stealing the N himself.
The love of books is another thread through the story. Despite not being able to read, Octavio is a regular buyer from a book stall near the Louvre. For both Octavio and the bookstall owner, books have a special meaning, and lead to friendships and relationships.
CS Richardson has crafted a very fine story indeed. His cast of characters each contribute to the overarching story while having their own backstories as well. Emile, Immacolata, and Octavio run the bakery as I mentioned. Then there’s the fashion designers Pascal Normand and his wife Celeste, who hide their daughter Isabeau from view because of a facial scar from an unfortunate childhood accident. And we have three generations of the Fournier family who own the bookstall. On top of that, there’s a blind watchmaker, a starving portrait artist and Madame Lafrouche whose husband Alphonse gifts Emile The Arabian Nights which becomes the first book in Octavio’s collection and eventually makes it into the hands of Isabeau.
I was first introduced to CS Richardson from my publishing ties. Richardson is an award-winning cover designer for Random House and his first novel The End of the Alphabet was my favourite book in 2008. The Emperor of Paris is a strong contender for 2013.
In 2010 filmmakers Faythe Levine, coauthor of Handmade Nation, and Sam Macon began documenting the dedicated practitioners of hand-painted signs, their time-honored methods, and their appreciation for quality and craftsmanship. Sign Painters, the first anecdotal history of the craft, features stories and photographs of more than 25 sign painters working in cities throughout the United States.
The Canadian premiere of the Sign Painters documentary that accompanies the book will be in Vancouver on June 7th and 8th at the Rio Theatre. Get tickets ($20) and additional information.
April is national poetry month and I thought that I’d celebrate by re-reading some of the poetry collections on my shelves.
Excerpt: “at night cooley listens” published in Sunfall by Dennis Cooley (Anansi, 978-0-88784-580-2)
at night cooley listens to his body
an answering service he bends over now
the day’s over the day’s messages
the rest of the day he does not listen
does not pay it much attention, his neglect shameful
cooley knows he shld do better shld take it out more often
show it a little more affection
once the noise of the day drops like shoes untied away
every night when the tired switch clicks night on
the body becomes importunate spouse
it’s about time you listened to me
you self-centred bastard the body says you barely listen
the body rehearses a long list of grievances, sniffling
there are violins
Dennis Cooley is one of my all-time favourite poets. I find his poems to be flamboyant and a little crazy. Some of them are incredibly heartfelt, while others use tone and timing to turn otherwise casual observations into challenges or wisecracks. He’s the only poet I keep coming back to. Others I enjoy and soon forget whereas I’ll eagerly read, and re-read, Cooley. This poem in particular makes me giddy in the same way that episodes of Seinfeld do.
Excerpt: “Wolf Tree” by Alison Calder published in Wolf Tree (Coteau Books: 978-1-55050-359-3)
The wolf tree’s arms reach out
in a question that is also an answer,
as we seek another name for what we have.
The tree embraces us in its branches,
holds the buds of our tender dreams.
What happened, it says, what happened
to the farm grown over, the buildings
sagging into slope-shouldered grayness.
The wild comes back, as lilacs
explode over the woodshed,
irises and roses bloom beside
decaying doors.
Alison Calder’s whole collection of poems is wonderful to read, in particular because each poem offers a wonderful balance of dream and reality. I also like her poems because many are set on the prairies. Calder grew up in Saskatoon and I first met her at the University of Manitoba where she was teaching CanLit and creative writing. I’ve admired her work ever since and perhaps became a fan of prairie poets because of her and Dennis Cooley, along with David Arnason, Robert Kroetsch and newer poets like Alexis Kienlen. I enjoyed the “bee” poems in her recent collection 13.
Poem: “The Home Inspection” by Jamie Sharpe published in Animal Husbandry Today (ECW, 978-1-177041-106-7)
Before I even step
into this house
let me point out
something about
the foliage
Those leaves on
that there bush
were new in spring;
given it’s late July
I’d say they have
two months tops.
I doubt they’re
under warranty.
Jamie Sharpe is new to me, and I appreciate that he sent me a copy of this collection of poems because I’ve been enjoying exploring it. Like the poems above, Sharpe’s poems are accessible while still being lyrical. It’s a great collection.
What poems strike your fancy? If you’re keen to share, consider checking out the poetry contest on 49thShelf.com for a chance to win a prize package of new Canadian poetry.
Michel Houellebecq’s The Map and the Territory is one of those books that makes the mind tingle. The novel’s caustic sense of humour and irony had me eagerly turning the pages and thinking fondly of Ayn Rand.
Like Rand, Houellebecq (pronounced “Wellbeck”) is equally controversial in his own way. His protagonist Jed Martin, an emotionally stunted and highly successful artist, befriends French novelist Michel Houellebecq in his quest to have Houellebecq write the catalogue for his forthcoming exhibition. The novel version of Houellebecq is a satirical fictionalization of the author himself. Houellebecq describes Houellebecq as having a reputation for drunkenness, strong misanthropic tendencies, and a fondness for charcuterie. Surprisingly he is brutally murdered in the third section of the novel.
Let me get to that in a second. In the first two sections of the novel, we experience the artworld through Jed Martin’s eyes. He approaches life with neutrality and often with distain, but it also seems understandable that he, like the reclusive, fictional Houellebecq, wants as little human contact as possible and the space to create his art. The modern art world presented in the novel is one of consumerism and one-up-manship, where Martin’s portrait-style paintings of CEOs and architects fetch millions of dollars and become cause for murder.
Yes, speaking of murder, the third section takes a distinct turn, both in perspective and writing style. Instead of the high-minded, sophisticated writing style of the first two sections, we get detective, genre writing. It’s quite the contrast.
The Map and the Territory isn’t a book for everyone, but I found it masterful. As Jed Martin’s father remarks, “he [Houellebecq] is a good author, it seems to me. He’s pleasant to read, and he has quite an accurate view of society.”
In publishing news yesterday, Amazon bought Goodreads. The big question in the minds of users and publishing industry folks is “what will they do with it?” In particular will they remove the buy buttons for other retail sites? Word on the street is that Goodreads was working on a bookstore function for the site, hence the acquisition by Amazon. Like Facebook and Google, Amazon likes to take any competition off the table. They already own Shelfari and have a stake in LibraryThing, so maybe owing Goodreads was always in the cards.
People like publishing consultant and Digital Book World partner Mike Shatzkin think it’s definitely because of the bookstore competition though. And why is Goodreads competition? Because they have an awesome recommendation engine and rapid user growth. Add a bookstore to that and they stand to make a nice bag of coin.
With 12 million users as of late 2012, Goodreads is the largest book-focused social network so it will be interesting to see how Amazon, the largest bookseller, is going to capitalize on that. The Digital Book World site has a good article on the acquisition Amazon Acquires Goodreads and they’ve provided a few logical guesses at what Amazon will do with Goodreads.
Use the site’s data to augment and improve its own book recommendations.
Remove buy buttons for other retailers’ books.
Supplement its own reviews with Goodreads reviews.
Add Goodreads to its suite of marketing solutions for publishers.
Nothing. The company is growing quickly (nearly tripled in users since the end of 2011).
I think they’ll definitely use the site’s data, and they will likely remove or make much more prominent the Amazon buy button. At the moment Barnes & Noble is the prominent call to action. I do not think they’ll replace their reviews with Goodreads’ reviews because for SEO reasons they’d want the content to be unique on both sites so they have have a double whammy in search results. Goodreads does have a good marketing program, including author chats and advertising, so perhaps that becomes part of an offer to authors and publishers. Oh the anticipation!
A hilarious text exchange yesterday morning led me to these thoughts:
John Green is hilarious. I didn’t know that.
One of my Pub355 students introduced me to his videos (and I should have watched them immediately).
Craig Ferguson is still hilarious (always knew that, loved his show, haven’t watched it for awhile, thought his novel was darkly funny).
I’m now addicted to John Green videos.
I’m ready to read The Fault in Our Stars (cancer story, couldn’t read that last year due to a family illness).
Here’s how it all went down.
SDS: Do you know John Green?
Me: I know Joslin Green (Boxcar designer).
SDS: John Green. He’s big on the internets. There’s a video clip where he goes on about being a big Harry Potter fan and going to conferences.
Pause
Wait. What? I’m a big Harry Potter fan and go to conferences. Who are we talking about?
(Search “John Green” and autocomplete brings up “John Green Books”)
End Pause
Me: Oh, John Green, author. I thought we were talking about someone I know personally. I know author John Green of The Fault in Our Stars. Harry Potter fan though?
SDS: Yes, the interview on Craig Ferguson is about his book. He goes to Harry Potter conferences.
Pause
I go to Harry Potter conferences. Who are we talking about?
(Search “John Green Craig Ferguson”)
Yes, yes. Same guy. Ok, the puzzle pieces of this text thread are coming together. John Green. Author. Interview on Craig Ferguson.
Watch 11 minute video (actually it’s not that long because the last 4-5 min are some other show promo). OMG funny, worth watching. I didn’t know how personable John Green is.
Discovery: Yes John Green is a Harry Potter fan and goes to conferences because his brother plays Wrock. (That’s Wizard Rock for those of you not in the Potterverse). I personally like the Mudblood’s “Be My Witch Tonight,” which I first heard at Portus 2008.
Who, then, is his brother?
(Search “John Green Brother”)
Hank Green. Thank you Wikipedia.
Ah! This is the guy behind “Accio Deathly Hallows”, which was super popular because it went viral before the last Harry Potter book was released. I know this (without knowing or connecting the details). Hilarious! This is a fun internet-browsing adventure.
(How are you liking the inner workings of my sleep-depraved, new mom brain? Fascinated, I’m sure. Thankfully this blog is called So Misguided.)
Next thought: That song launched Hank and John’s Vlogbrothers YouTube channel into the stratosphere, which is what my student Calvin was telling me in September. I clearly should prioritize reading/watching links sent to me, not just by students but by James, Boris and friends who diligently keep me up to date. Mea culpa.
John Green video‚ Mar 19, 2013‚ offers a great commentary on advertising and where marketers are going wrong when they think about social media and advertising. (See this is valuable, work-related research now.)
Plus, the video was filmed in advance of the Craig Ferguson interview so the neurosis of this video is a perfect complement to (my state of mine, ur, I mean) the actual interview itself.
I’m now addicted to John Green and most certainly want to read The Fault in Our Stars, which I wanted to read before anyway.
And here’s my work-related thought to show that a portion of my professional brain still exists … the video highlights a good point made by Jane Friedman earlier this week in her post on 5 publishing industry trends writers need to understand:
Quote: 3. The Value and Distraction of Author Platform Building
I’ll make a bold statement right here that I don’t think I’ve made before.
If you’re a totally new, unpublished writer who is focused on fiction, memoir, poetry, or any type of narrative-driven work, forget you ever heard the word platform. I think it’s causing more damage than good. It’s causing writers to do things that they dislike (even hate), and that are unnatural for them at an early stage of their careers. They’re confused, for good reason, and platform building grows into a raging distraction from the work at hand‚ the writing.
Therefore, build your platform by writing and publishing in outlets that are a good fit for you, lead to professional growth, and build your network. The other pieces will start to fall into place. It might take longer, but who cares if you’re feeling productive and enjoying yourself? Go be a writer and take a chance on the writing. Writing and publishing good work always supports the growth of your platform‚ and I’m willing to bet more valuable platform building will get done that way, especially for narrative-driven writers.
Exception to the rule: Nonfiction/non-narrative authors and entrepreneurial authors who are self-publishing. Sorry, but you should probably focus on platform as much as the writing.
I 100% agree. And when publishers are talking to authors about building a platform, they are looking for a John Green.
But you know what? Green is a total outlier. See above activities with Hank Green. Then look further back than Vlogbrothers. Vlogbrothers was predated by the Brotherhood 2.0 Project.
Quote:
John Green and his brother Hank ran a video blog project called Brotherhood 2.0. The original project ran from January 1 to December 31, 2007, with the premise that the brothers would cease all text-based (‘textual’) communication for the year and instead converse by video blogs, made available to the public via YouTube (where they are known as the ‘vlogbrothers’) and on their Brotherhood 2.0 website. Thanks again Wikipedia
Dear authors: a platform is often years in the making. Be realistic about the time you have available if you want to build an audience faster than that.
Dear publishers: See above point for authors.
Everybody (even those without children) will offer pregnant moms unsolicited advice. It’s charming and annoying at the same time. But I can’t pass up this bandwagon.
Here is the scenario:
I live in a 1-bedroom apartment with not a lot of space.
Laundry is 3 floors down.
In planning for a baby, and space requirements, my partner and I want things that have a small footprint, but also recognize that the “hide-a-bed” approach to tools/equipment means that it usually sucks at all features vs. being good at any of them.
The basic requirements for us are a place for the baby to sleep, a comfortable place to nurse and a safe place to change diapers.
What You Need to Buy for a Newborn: A Checklist
Clothing
8 onesies (for a fall/winter babes go for long-sleeve and pants with feet—basically he/she will live in the same 2-4 outfits but if laundry isn’t easily accessible, extras help. For summer newborns, go lighter fabrics, same deal. Babies like to be a little hot vs. a little cold. There’s some super expensive $40 onsies made from bamboo fabric (Hip Baby and Crocodile on W4th Ave, if you’re in Vancouver). They feel lovely. Put those on a gift list!
ALSO, tap into the underground baby-clothes swap. Clothes for 0-12 month olds fit for such a short period of time. Find or make friends so you can happily trading down or up as babe grows. You’ll likely have more clothes than you can use—I did and I did not have friends with babies during pregnancy so I didn’t think I’d be on the receiving end of so many little outfits. But I was, and it was awesome.
Since you don’t know the size of the baby, the trading helps too. But if you buy or have people giving you gifts, get a mix of the 0-3 clothes but more for 3-6 months, maybe only 1-2 newborn ones (4-7 lbs) because unless you have a preemie, babe is only in those sizes for 3-6 weeks. Plus if people are buying you clothes, babes 4-6 months can have solid foods, which means more mess, more laundry so getting more of those clothes is better. Newborns, again, only need a few outfits.
Onesies with feet are good, then they aren’t kicking off socks. If you have one with hand covers that can be good too for anti-scratching, but the baby will likely hate having hands covered so don’t get more than 1. Some of the onesies have little cuffs that fold over. I vote for those.
For stuff you buy, look at the complexity of how the outfits button/zip up. There are some with a million snaps. AVOID. Best are zippers, especially for adults with bigger hands (I’m looking at the dads and the grandparents, moms are magicians and obviously can do buttons and zips, with eyes closed). Another pro for zips: the zipper top is covered so no worry about baby. Forget anything that ties. Even magicians do not have time for making nice bows. Since zipper ones are difficult to find, especially with neck protection from zipper, go for snaps but watch for how many. I found lots of zips in the States, funny since Canada supposedly invented the zipper.
Think in layers. Babies want to wear 1 more layer than you to feel comfortable wearing given the temp. Feel the back of their neck to test temp vs. hands since they have terrible circulation initially. Fleece clothing may be too warm for newborns. Tuck them into blankets or sleep sacks instead. Note there is some contrary opinions on sleep sack but my babe loved them.
2 newborn hats (1 for outside and to keep in the heat, and 1 for when you lose the 1st one, haha).
1 pair of scratch mittens, to keep baby from scratching face (get more if and when you need, not all babies are scratchaholics).
Forget the socks and booties for newborn, get them later.
2 sweaters or jackets (i.e., outfits for outdoors), but even better for newborn are the great cozy stroller bags. Pro: then you don’t have to fuss with a jacket.
10-20 receiving blankets (they also make handy burp cloths; get a ton, they are super helpful and also protect your clothes)
Feeding
Breastfeeding is hard, harder than anyone tells you. Think about the ergonomics of where you’ll nurse. Without a live specimen, it’s hard to figure this out. My couch seemed like a comfortable place until I tried it with a baby. A series of pillows did not support my back, were always moving and I used a tool kit for a stool because I couldn’t find anything the right height. You’ll have to figure out what’s best for you around week 3-4.
Don’t martyr yourself.
If you have to get the glider/rocking chair, do it to protect your back. Make sure you have something that is the right height (legs at right angles, plus footstool that’s low/high enough, arm rests to protect your shoulder from hitching upwards or dangling). You want to be able to recline back slightly. Again, figure this out when you have bebe. Hunching forward is an issue when you first start. Make sure to stretch your back and shoulders after nursing. Every time! Cat and dog pose is helpful.
Breast pump – electric, double: It’s an investment, see if you have a friend with one. Go for double and find the nice pumping bra (it’s glamorous and has holes or flaps for the flanges to fit in, those are the cone/funnels that go around the areola and attach to the bottle you pump into) so you have hands free. This may be the only time of day that happens. Colostrum comes in and you’ll hand express, sometimes into a cup to feed the baby if he/she isn’t good at latching. Then as you get milk, you may or may not get enough stimulation initially. Having a pump on hand, even a single, until you see how it’s going is a good idea because it’s stressful to find when you’re postpartum and sending out a parent, friend or partner. Common brands are Medela and Avent. I used Medela. You can pump directly into the bottles and store those. Avent is also good. See what your friends have. You’re not supposed to second hand these but if you’re comfortable with the friend, just save yourself the $200-300. You sterilize all the pieces anyway. If nothing else figure out in advance what pump you like and where to buy it. Make sure your partner, friend, or a parent has this information and figure out what retailers are open 24hrs and stock it.
Lots of mamas hate pumping and never end up using it so that’s why I also opt for second hand, or just wait and see.
What else:
Milk storage containers; start with 8 150-ml bottles. If it’s Medela, go with 1-2 nipples, you’ll wash equipment after each bottle feed (again breastfeeding is super hard at first and nobody talks about or remembers that they were feeding and pumping all the time to get enough milk or to get the milk into the baby if the problem is a lazy sucker.
Thermal bottle carrier or ice packs. You don’t really need this unless you are planning to be on the go. Ice packs work too since you can also use them to ice your back and shoulders when you wreck them from breastfeeding—did I mention ergonomics?
Nursing pillow (borrow if you can until you figure out what works for you. MyBreast Friend work wraps around your body, has a back support portion, and a strap that tightens and keeps the pillow in place. Love the MyBreast Friend.)
Nursing bras (if buying before baby is born, buy just 1 that is 2 sizes bigger than your normal size. For example, if you are a 34C, assume you’ll jump to a 38C. Go for no underwire and stretchy fabric so if you’re a bit bigger than 2 sizes that’s ok. For the first week or so it’s fine. Exercise bras that crossover in front also work because you can pull down the fabric to nurse. Just be mindful that things are going to be sore so a bra that comes over your head can be hard to get on and off, especially if you have sore breasts. You will change shape a lot in the first few days. You can get nice nursing bras a few weeks later as you settle out in size.
Breast pads (disposable Lansinoh ones are great or washable Lilypadz but the Lilypadz can smell a bit weird and they can compress your nipples. Wow so much info here. If you have an inverted nipple or distended nipples, you’ll have some different issues.
Nursing tops – these tend to be VERY expensive for what they are. A few “bar tops” tend to work well – the low cut cross over type, and they are much cheaper. Sex it up. Plan on tops that you can pull down otherwise you have a lot of fabric up around your neck. Camis, crossover tops, big neck tshirts and lots of cardigans. You can leak too, not everyone does, hence those breast pads. Dark tops hide this better. Think black. Also think about a bra to sleep in. You don’t want a wet bed, or even if you just have little spots, you don’t want to stick to things. It’s unpleasant because your nipples will be tender initially. Bras through for night are uncomfortable because the straps or latches push into your back. I found a great tube top. Hello 1980s. The disposable pads stick inside ok, and you’re not having a full night sleep of turning anyway. If you’re larger breasted, go with what works and is comfortable when you’re laying down.
Nursing cover up – Hootie Hider. It’s like an apron you wear and the neckline has a rigid collar so you can peak down at bebe. Great if you are going to be doing nursing in public (and you likely will–eventually) or when in-laws and friends are over.
Nursing areas – Create a calm space, ensure you have something to look at. You might be there 20 mins to an hour. If you are endlessly nursing, let me know as I had lots of trouble and it drove me insane. I have met every lactation consultant you can imagine and have a ton of tips. If you hire someone, get them to come to you. It’s better in the first weeks to conserve your energy and time. Don’t drive to appointments you don’t have to. Pay extra for the lactation consultant to come to you.
Try out some of the apps for nursing and tracking, um, inputs and outputs. TotalBaby was my fav great app).
Appointments, appointments, appointments. If bebe is not gaining weight, you’ll likely have baby to the doctor once a week so anytime someone can come to you, pay the extra amount for that. In general, docs want baby’s first appointment to be 1 week postpartum, schedule it for day 10 instead so you have a better chance of having regained birth weight.
Lotion for sore nipples – Lansinoh. Get 4 tubes and have 1 at the nursing station, 1 in the bathroom, 1 in the baby bag and 1 extra. You’ll use a lot of it in month 1 & 2 then the pain goes away. Apply it liberally. Here’s the process: You’ll breastfeed, then express milk onto the nipple because it has its own anti-bacterial properties, air dry, then apply Lansinoh nipple cream. Remember it’s going to suck but it will get better around week 6 when you have more of a rhythm and baby knows what they are doing. Stick with it but definitely ask for help if you’re hating life. Or go bottle! The publicity machine for breastfeeding is really high. There are no long term studies that indicate bebe has better/worse health, brains, connection, so says my girlfriend the doctor.
2-4 Bibs – you’ll only need a few early on because around week 3-6 there will be more spit up. It just happens. Babes don’t have a nice valve that keeps that milk down because their digestion system isn’t developed yet. That’s why no solid foods until month 4-6. The best bibs attach at the side of the neck, not around the back. These are easier to work with. If you have a drooly or burpy baby, you’ll probably have a bib on baby all the time. Then you need more than 2.
Soother/pacifier – some babies use and need, others not. It needs to be same shape/kind as nipples on bottles. Usually not recommended until nursing well established (6-8 weeks+). Avent has some 0-3 month pacifiers and there’s this brand that’s natural: http://www.natursutten.com/products/natursutten/
Pacifiers are super when they hit the incessant crying stage (if he/she does)
Diapering: If you are using disposable diapers:
Two boxes of newborn-size diapers (it’s better not to buy too many in advance in case your baby is large or grows quickly–but have them on hand because they go through them quickly)
Changing pad. Kushies has a waterproof pad (flannel on one side and waterproof on the other). We don’t have a change table, just a towel on the bathroom counter and the change pad on top of that. It’s handy and when baby is bigger, we can figure out what else to do. The floor, the bed also work and the waterproof underside is key.
Diaper Pail – We just used a regular garbage. Baby poo doesn’t smell if you’re breastfeeding. That’s a pro vs. con. Once you start solids, then it’s stinky, or if you do formula. If you want a special pail, buy second hand. Diaper Genie is a good make. Just make sure that the refills are readily available.
Diaper bag, backpack. Whatever works for you. Don’t get too wowed by these pricey bags. I used a regular backpack with lots of pockets and find it works great, and doubles as a breast feeding pillow for the baby when I’m out and about.
Skin care – There are baby face cloths that we use as wipes so we put warm water in the bathroom sink, soak the cloth and use that as a wipe. Then rinse and hang dry. They are saving baby from butt rash. We do have wipes for on the go. Try to find the sensitive ones. Naty is one brand and Pampers, sensitive skin. If you do use wipes and have rash (which often they get when solids are introduced and the poos are greater), then the blue tin of Penaten is what people recommend.
No need for wipe warmer. If you use wipes, just scrunch it in your hand first to warm up.
If rash or redness develops can use Zincofax or Penaten (blue tin, everyone swears by it). I heard Superstore brands are also good.
Bathtime
1 plastic infant tub (or use a large dishpan in the sink, or put baby in the sink!) Seriously, don’t worry about this one. You’ll use a cloth to wipe face, hands and feet, plus around the neck if he/she is a spit-up kid. Milk collects around the collar and stinks. But otherwise, babies don’t need baths. Maybe 2x a week at first, if that. They aren’t getting dirty. Unless there’s an epic poo, then use the sink, or bring them in the tub with you. Tub is better for when they are bigger so you can wait on this one.
1-2 washcloths
Don’t need right away (or ever): Baby soft-bristled hair brush
2-3 soft-hooded towels
Unless you have lots of hair, you don’t need shampoo right away. Shampoo and baby wash – go all natural. Recommend using “Live Clean Baby”
For Later: Bath toys and container as baby grows
Temperature tester for tub water – e.g. duck which changes colour to indicate correct temp, or feel the water on the inside of your elbow.
Bedtime
For the first 3 months you will probably need a bassinette – the UPPA Baby vista has two stroller attachments and the bassinette attachment is safe for night-time sleeping so we chose this stroller. And it has the biggest basket underneath for carrying things. Plus it came in hot pink. The Bob stroller was highly recommended as well and seems to be the best of the 3-wheel options for people who like running with baby.
Change area – Nice to have all essentials e.g. diapers, creams, wipes, etc. handy. Breast fed babes have frequent and loose BMs, usually after every feeding. Lots of diapers and sleepers needed for first 6 weeks. FYI for boys: point the pointer downward in the diaper so pee doesn’t spray up the front or leak.
Change pads – essential, have some small ones. Get a change pad that is waterproof and make sure you have one for diaper bag as well.
Waterproof mattress pad
sleep sacks (Y or N, they worked great for us)
Night light (night-time nursing or changing, basically so you can keep it dim)
Some research suggests overheating as a contributing factor in SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), which is higher risk in month 2. There’s lots of scary info about this and not co-sleeping but be reasonable (month 1 just do whatever is working for sleep, don’t freak out about co-sleeping, be safe, don’t drink or do drugs. You’ll find it’s like airplane sleeping—you’re not really asleep, just resting with your eyes closed).
Safety
Monitor – If you have a big place or a separate room for a nursery, a monitor is helpful when you are not in the same room. People recommend the Video Summer Infant monitor for picture quality, sound but as a techie, this is a piece of crappy plastic and you can buy computer monitors and real equipment for the same $200-300. We got a Belkin wemo, no monitor, because the quality is better and it works with the iphone so no need for yet another remote. That said, we haven’t had to use it often enough to know how good/bad it really is. If you go for a traditional baby monitor, look at the reviews. Many of the video ones don’t work in low light or need to be mounted a specific way.
Basically you’ll have ears like a bat and will hear baby.
After first 3 months …
If you are using a crib:
crib and crib mattress – get one that opens later into a toddlers bed so that you don’t have to change it in 1 year. Test it out by laying a pretend babe down. The height of side rail may be a consideration, lower for short folks. Mattresses are often sold separately.
1 waterproof mattress cover
2 fitted cribsheets
2 light blankets that fit in the crib (you can layer up as needed)
If you are co-sleeping:
Firm mattress (not a waterbed)
waterproof pad to place under baby
Light comforter (keep away from baby’s head)
Sleep sack for baby
Consider sleeping perpendicular to baby—i.e. baby feet at your chest so if you roll over, it’s on to feet only
Other necessities
Approved infant safety seat for car – can’t leave the hospital without it. Bring some extra blankets to the hospital to fit around their wee head.
Stroller – best to buy one that can work till the baby is 3 years old to avoid buying several ones. Make sure it will collapse and fit in car.
Nail clippers or scissors (or just bite off baby’s nails as needed)
Useless: syringe for suctioning mucous. There are bulb ones and ones with a hose and you suck it out. The latter is apparently better. All of these were a waste of money for us.
Eye dropper or medicine spoon (get as needed, and if you have a 24hr pharmacy that stocks them, don’t worry about it til you need it)
Medication in case of fever (get as needed, and if you have a 24hr pharmacy that stocks them, don’t worry about it til you need it)
Child carrier – need to try on, both mom and dad. Different styles can be very useful. I liked Ergobaby vs Bjorn because it’s better for baby’s hips (face them into you vs out–studies on that warm about the splayed legs and issues with hip joints when you face baby out from you vs. in); try a wrap (http://www.mobywrap.com/ is complicated but great), there are other simpler ones that work too. Heart2heart sling is a favourite among parents.
Thermometer – good to have on hand – can use ear thermometer – accurate enough to determine if baby has fever or not. Not as accurate as underarm but usually good enough.
Vitamin D – needed for breast fed babies. Buy Vitamin D Drops as you only need to give one drop as per instructions. Easy. 600-1000
Baby Sun Screen- Yes, later
Baby Laundry Detergent – unscented, mild. Wash most baby things separately, at least in the beginning, no bleach – or put it all together, we did
Cleaning of equipment, and hands is very important. Get into the good habit and wash hands as soon as you come home, and invite guests to wash hands before handling baby. Soap pumps like Method are great for having at each sink because sometimes you don’t have both hands for a bar of soap. Related, unscented Aveeno hand lotion. I found my hands got really dry and baby was sneezing or scrunchy faced around scented products.
Activity
Bouncy chair – with vibrator, music might drive you crazy with repetition. Seems to be an essential to keep little one occupied and parents sane
Swing – space consuming! But some babies love it and if it gives you respite do it. For higher priced items, rent it from weetravel.ca to see if baby likes it. Also Craigslist and Kijiji. Lots of things you’ll have only for weeks or months so buy, borrow, second-hand, resell, whatever you can to economize.
Nice-to-have items, not needed immediately
Rocking chair for feeding and swaddling, Glider/Rocker – “saves your life” as you spend a lot of time feeding and rocking and you want to be comfortable, even snooze from time to time.
Playpen
2 or 4 pacifiers (if you choose to use these after breastfeeding is well established, ~6-8 wks)
Rattles and other baby toys
Mobiles
Developmental toys, rattles, etc. One recommendation is Whoozits as an early toy. It has black and white figures which apparently babies respond to. Also a mirror and crunchy parts.
Activity Gym – one which you put on the floor with colourful overhead toys, etc.
Exersaucer for when they get older.
Books – board books with primary colours, big bright solid colours, black and white patterns. Alternatively you can make some homemade flashcards on recipe cards. Make big black and white designs for baby to stare at.
For Mama
LOTS of maxi pads w/wings, heavy flow; Always Infinity heavyflow was recommended to me and were a nice thin pad with good absorbency
FOOD! Both you and your partner need readily available, preferably, homemade food. Plus: get snacks that can be eaten one-handed. The general rule for family and friends: you can’t visit the baby unless you bring food!
Backup supplies: extra paper towel (you use it a lot in week 1-3 especially for quickly cleaning spills or bottle/pump pieces), shampoo, creams, etc. Being able to take a few minutes per day to feel half decent feels so good. Don’t run out of toothpaste or toilet paper. The store might only be 5 min away but it is unlikely you’ll find time to make it there in the first week or so.
You’ll cry, things will not feel normal. Nobody will tell you in advance about this but don’t worry, by week 6 you’ll start to feel better. During week 1-6, approach life as you would if you had the flu. Lots of comforting, easy to digest food, stay in bed if you can, and try to get as much rest as you can. Laying with your eyes closed counts. Laying is better than sitting, sitting is better than standing. When getting up, still roll to your side and press up with your arms. Your abs and uterus need to recover. Plus, keep up the kegels to avoid prolapse! I exercised too rigourous too early and ended up with a prolapse so it’s my soapbox. Go easy, no long walks, no workouts. There is a lot of time for that, don’t rush, you’ll get your body back. Make good food choices vs. focusing on exercise. And make time to look after yourself, and make sure your partner has time alone each day to just rest or recover. You are both doing a big hard job!
Phew, a novel.
Also people have had babies for as long as people have been on earth. The birthing part is handled by experts and your baby/body will just do it.
It’s the AFTER that doesn’t get enough attention. Breast feeding was super hard. I figured out sleep and getting a shower but was floored by not having coherent conversations. Week 1-3 is crazy but you’re in survival mode. It really, really does get better by week 6, then there’s a huge improvement by month 3. By month 6 it starts to get fun, month 9 is super, a year is pretty cool–babies get way more fun when they are walking, then 18 months is another transition, 24 months and 3 years onwards. It will be hard to believe when you’re in the trenches, but those milestone markers are good to look toward.
March 6 was World Read Aloud Day and many organizations celebrated by giving away books. Global Mechanic’s A Sweet Story iPad app is one of those freebies. Check it out as it’s Canadian produced and self funded by Global Mechanic. If you like it, consider writing a review as that helps people discover the app.
What is World Read Aloud Day? World Read Aloud Day is a global literacy movement that is about “taking action to show the world that the right to read and write belongs to all people. World Read Aloud Day motivates children, teens, and adults worldwide to celebrate the power of words, especially those words that are shared from one person to another, and creates a community of readers advocating for every child’s right to a safe education and access to books and technology.”
A Sweet Story iPad app
“A Sweet Story is a charming book packed with lovely illustrations, quirky animation and an assortment of tasty childhood memories. After one reading of A Sweet Story, I found my daughter staying up late, hiding the iPad under the covers to read it one more time. That might be the highest recommendation one can give.” Linda Simensky, Vice President of Children’s Programming at PBS
“A delicious and fast-moving little story about a brave boy and the food he hates. Best of all, it reads just like a real book.” Russell Smith, Novelist, Globe and Mail columnist and parent
The story of the N’s disappearance is a regular request from the bakery’s patrons, the most fantastical version being about thieves who spread across France stealing Ns and the most favourite being that of Napolean stealing the N himself. 
In 2010 filmmakers Faythe Levine, coauthor of 
Michel Houellebecq’s The Map and the Territory is one of those books that makes the mind tingle. The novel’s caustic sense of humour and irony had me eagerly turning the pages and thinking fondly of Ayn Rand. 
