
In some ways this was a weird book to finish on International Women’s Day but it perfectly portrayed the ongoing struggles still faced by many women around the world.
A Woman Is No Man is the heart-wrenching, interconnected story of three generations of Palestinian women living together in Brooklyn in the 1990s to 2000s.
Isra is trapped in her marriage. She was born in Palestine and married off to an American Palestinian man at the age of 17. She is expected to serve her mother-in-law Fareeda by doing the cooking and cleaning, and birthing boys who will carry on the family name. Isra has been taught to see this as her only role. But she’s a reader and believes in romance. So when living in America does not mean she’s living the American dream, she has to recalibrate. But domestic violence and the lack of agency over her life is crippling.
Deya is Isra’s eldest daughter. The story moves between her early years and her perceptions of Isra as an unloving mother to her teen years when she is being set up with suitors and forced into marriage vs. college. Deya is suffering from her oppressive, traditional upbringing but she’s afraid to rock the boat for fear of bringing shame to the family and damaging the reputation of her three younger sisters. The big question of the novel is whether Deya will be able to choose a different path, without being ostracized from her family.
Fareeda is Deya’s grandmother and Isra’s mother in law. She is the one demanding that the women in the house follow cultural rules. Fareeda, whether intentionally or not, isolates Isra and ignores the abuse she faces at the hands of Adam, Fareeda’s eldest son. On top of that, Fareeda regularly insults Isra for bringing four daughters into her marriage. When Isra dies, leaving her young daughters in the care of Fareeda, it means that Deya is at her mercy. Fareeda is a victim too though. She’s entered an arranged marriage as a teen, is uneducated but strident in her work ethic, she suffers domestic abuse, the death of children, relocation to America, and the loss of community supports. She does not embrace America and holds her sons at a different standard than her daughter and daughters-in-law. Can she abandon her beliefs and see a different future for her grand-daughters? No spoilers here.
Obviously the story is fiction and is not reflective of ALL Palestinians. But it is an exploration of the code of silence many abuse victims follow, it is a look at the different standards and expectations some families set for their daughters vs. sons, and it is a way to empathize with women who find themselves in ultra conservative families and communities.
I loved this woman’s passionate review and perspective on Islam, Arab culture, and the role of women.










